Grief and Recovery: How Healing Really Happens

By Jon Terrell, M.A.

“Grief is love with nowhere to go.” — Unknown

Grief changes everything. It breaks us open, rearranges our hearts, and asks us to face what we thought we couldn’t. Whether it’s the death of someone you love, the end of a relationship, a serious illness, or another loss — grief is both universal and uniquely personal.

Many people think recovery means “getting over it.” But in truth, grief recovery isn’t about forgetting — it’s about remembering differently. It’s about transforming pain into presence and rediscovering a way to live, love, and breathe again.

1. Grief Is a Process, Not a Problem to Solve

Our culture teaches us to fix pain — to get back to “normal” as soon as possible. But grief doesn’t work on a schedule. It’s not a straight line; it’s a landscape you travel through.

Some days you may feel strong and grounded. The next, you may feel like you’ve fallen apart again. That’s not failure — it’s healing.

The truth is: grief doesn’t go away; it changes shape. Over time, it softens, becoming something you carry with grace instead of resistance.

2. The Body Knows How to Grieve

Grief isn’t only emotional — it’s physical. It lives in the body as tightness, exhaustion, or a heaviness in the chest or belly.

Tears, movement, and breath are the body’s natural tools for healing. Crying releases tension; walking helps energy move; deep breathing creates space inside.

If you can’t cry right now, be gentle with yourself. Sometimes the body protects us until it’s ready. Healing begins the moment you give yourself permission to feel — even a little.

3. There Is No Timeline for Healing

You may wonder, “How long will this last?”The honest answer: as long as it needs to.

Grief unfolds in its own time. It can’t be rushed or ignored — only walked through, one breath at a time. The key is to stay connected: to your body, your feelings, and supportive people who can truly listen.

Recovery isn’t about erasing grief. It’s about learning to live fully again — even with the ache still in your heart.

4. You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Many people carry grief silently, afraid to burden others. But grief longs for connection. Healing happens when we are witnessed — when someone sits beside us without trying to fix us.

If you’re struggling to move forward, consider reaching out for support. A grief therapist, counselor, or retreat can help you process what feels too heavy to hold alone.

At our Grief and Loss Retreats, small groups gather in a safe, compassionate environment to release old pain, express long-held emotions, and rediscover peace. It’s powerful work — and profoundly human.

5. From Grief to Growth

“What is at first a cup of sorrow becomes, at last, immortal wine.” — The Bhagavad Gita

In time, grief gives birth to something unexpected — tenderness, empathy, wisdom, and a deeper love for life itself.

You don’t “move on” from grief. You move with it, and it moves through you.And when it does, it leaves behind something beautiful — a softer, truer version of yourself.

A Final Thought

If you are grieving, please remember: you are not broken. You are healing.

Grief is love, trying to find its way home.And recovery begins the moment you allow yourself to feel it.

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Jon Terrell, M.A.Psychotherapist, energy healer, and meditation teacher.Leads Grief and Loss Retreats and Emotional Healing Programs in Massachusetts and New York.