Healing From Pain and Loss

How to Deal with Grief

By Jon Terrell, M.A.

“What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.” — Jewish Proverb

Grief pierces the heart. It can feel unbearable — something we instinctively avoid because it hurts so much.Yet when we allow it, grief can also open us. Tears can soften the pain and begin a profound transformation of the heart.

Healing From Pain and Loss

Most of us were never taught how to handle grief. We learned to hide pain, to “be strong,” or to distract ourselves with work, food, or other escapes. Society tells us to “move on” or “cheer up,” but grief doesn’t respond to willpower — it needs presence and compassion.

If you find yourself hiding from sadness, start by turning inward. Breathe. Notice what you feel. Grief asks for gentleness, not control.

When Grief Gets Stuck

Unfelt grief doesn’t disappear — it lives in the body. We swallow tears, tighten our chests, and numb ourselves. Over time, this stored pain can surface all at once, feeling overwhelming.

At that moment, we face a choice: push it back down or bring it into the light.Letting grief move through us clears space for joy and connection to return.

My Own Journey

I grew up in a family where tears were not welcome — especially for boys. I learned to hold everything in, to “keep a stiff upper lip.” For years, I felt numb inside.

Only when I attended a grief retreat did I finally begin to release what I’d carried. Through tears, breath, and support, I learned how to feel again and heal from pain and loss.That experience changed my life — and now I help others do the same.

The Gift of Grief

“What is at first a cup of sorrow becomes, at last, immortal wine.” — The Bhagavad Gita

When grief is fully felt, it transforms.The weight of sorrow gives way to a grounded lightness — a new capacity for joy, peace, and compassion.

Those who have done their grief work radiate safety and openness. They’ve walked through the fire and emerged softer, wiser, more alive.

“When love is my only defense, I am invincible.” — Tao Te Ching

Moving Forward

If your grief feels too heavy to face alone, help is available.Our Grief and Loss

Retreats offer a safe, supportive environment to process deep emotions, release old pain, and begin healing.

Grief may start as sorrow — but with time, it becomes a doorway to love.

Jon Terrell, M.A.Psychotherapist, energy healer, and meditation teacher.Leads Grief and Loss Retreats and Emotional Healing Programs in Massachusetts and New York.

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