Ten Reasons Why People Don't Attend Our Emotional Healing Retreats

By Jon Terrell, M.A

Why People Don’t Attend Emotional Healing Retreats (and My Thoughts on Each)

Many people contact me when they’re going through a rough patch — grief, loss, anger, depression, or feeling stuck. But for every five who reach out, only one attends a retreat.Here, in no particular order, are the ten most common reasons people give for not

coming — and my honest thoughts on each.

1. “Emotional healing retreats won’t work. Nothing else has.”I get it — skepticism is natural. I can’t promise specific results, but I’ve seen this work transform many lives (mine included). Even after years of personal work, my first retreat helped me more than I ever expected.

2. “I don’t like groups. Can’t we do this privately?”That’s a common fear. Group work can feel intimidating, but it’s also profoundly healing. The sense of love, connection, and shared humanity in a group is unlike anything else. We start each retreat with gentle, grounding activities to help you feel safe and comfortable.

3. “It’s too scary.”Feeling anxious before a retreat is completely normal — it means you care. Growth happens outside your comfort zone. I delayed my first retreat for three years out of fear; it ended up being the safest, most life-changing experience I’d ever had.

4. “It costs too much.”Compared to similar programs, our retreats are reasonably priced — they include lodging and most meals. Tuition assistance is available through Star Dance Ranch and Shalom Mountain. We charge only what’s needed to sustain this work.

5. “It’s too far away.”Distance is relative — we’ve had participants from across the country and abroad. There’s a Megabus from NYC and an international airport just an hour from Star Dance Ranch in Massachusetts.

6. “It’s too short. I need more than 3–4 days.”Many people assume deep change takes weeks, but time in retreat works differently. When you step into “kairos” — time outside time — transformation can happen in a moment. We also offer optional sessions the day before for those traveling farther.

7. “I don’t have the time.”You might never “find” the time — you have to make it. Most attendees say, “Why did I wait so long?” after their first retreat. I feel the same way.

8. “My problems aren’t serious enough.”Please don’t compare your pain to anyone else’s. Healing is personal. Every step you take toward wholeness makes you more alive, present, and capable of supporting others.

9. “My issues are too much — I’ll overwhelm everyone.”If you feel this way, let’s talk. Some people may benefit from therapy first, but others just need to be held and supported. We meet you where you are — no judgment, no pressure.

10. “I’m too old, too young, too something.”This work is for people from all walks of life — ages 21 and up, all genders, orientations, and spiritual paths. Star Dance Ranch is warm and welcoming. Let’s talk about whether it’s the right fit for you.

Final ThoughtNo two journeys are alike. You’ll never be pushed beyond what you’re ready for — but you will be encouraged to go for it. Most people I talk to are ready for this work… even if they don’t feel like it yet.

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